My second year Blogg-o-ver-sary went by without any hoopla or even any consistent blogging. I read a friends first year
Blog-o-ver-sary that stated that many blogs don’t last a year. That was a throw down for me. I knew I could last for year so once the year came a gone with only a slight difference in weight change I just lost my gumption to continue to write. I however never lost the ideas. I’d go throughout the days thinking to myself “Ooo that’d be a good post” or “Ooo that’s a good idea.” I visited many blogs and I still stayed active on Twitter but my next blog post became farther and farther way. I then began to believe that my come back post had to be the most profound post ever. In all actuality I just needed to write and to come back to the core reasons why I started to write. I needed a place to log this journey so that the stresses of whats in my head doesn’t over power the ultimate goal of loosing weight. It’s unbelievable how much the mind affects my weight loss and this is another tool that helped during that first year. What I truly enjoyed were the exchanges with other bloggers or visitors so thank you for your support and encouragement to come back. So I’ve been lurking and it is time to be all in once again.
I hope this year in review reconfirm that I haven’t lost a year but have made progress that I will continue to learn from:
These are the strongest women of God I know. I was the MC during the conference entitled ‘Stepping Out.” It is so important that we all continue to STEP out in faith. The Lord has good plans for us.
After Hawaii I knew I needed a trainer again. I needed someone to believe when I couldn’t. I needed someone to push me when I couldn’t. I needed someone to believe when I couldn’t. Angie a.k.a Anigmal was my perfect and only choice. My friend Tra said that I was brave because Angie scared her. In all actuality she has such a kind spirit and her knowledge abounds. I am honored to have her on my team. She has taught me to break away barriers I have set up in my mind. I never would have thought that I could do squats with a 25lb. weight or sumo squats while holding a medicine ball with my extensive ACL injured knee. With this support system one would have believed that I was on the road for extensive weight loss….Wellllll
October hit with a vengeance. I exercised and ate somewhat on program but mostly off. I was working out M & F with Angie and swimming on the Masters Swim Team T & Thur. With all that exercise I should have been seeing results. The results were exhaustion and an over planned schedule which led to “No-No-November” as
Angie and I eventually called it.
The battle in November was my schedule but also the resentment I felt towards myself as I grazed for candy bars in the office or after an Angimal workout stopping and getting Chinese food and then going to the convenience store for snacks such as Ding Dongs, Twinkies, and ice cream. I had also found these incredible Key Lime pie dessert made by SaraLee. After an incredible workout that caused me to sit in the parking lot for a half hour before I could move I’d throw all the hard work away and eat everything I mentioned in the first 15 minutes of being home. With all this battling going on in my head and life you can see why I didn’t finish the Top 100 or continue to blog. I was fighting such a battle in my mind. I’d take it out on the treadmill before my workouts with Angie and as I raced in the pool. Tears are hidden well within my tented goggles. And yet I was still working out and going through the motions. I wasn’t giving up. Angie even commented that in November she never said anything because she thought she’d scare me off. So she went along with it all the while knowing I was battling. So you can see my second year was off to a rocky start but there was a foundation that I could still build on.
Well in December 2010 I was coming around the same mountain again but this time the mountain was in Maui for a friends B-day. My friends 40th Birthday wish of sun, fun and surfing was by all means our command. The Sister Chicks Do the Hula was our book club choice that month. J~ planned everything that she desired for her Birthday except for the surprise gift at the special Birthday dinner. I was constantly in my head this weekend because I was not where I thought I’d be in this journey. I was so worried about my apparel choices because I was with women who were skinny and very fashionable. So before I left an online rush purchase of a bathing suit and dress thankfully arrived just in time. It was a good thing these orders in. First having an extra bathing suit was a saving grace because during our first jacuzzi my bathing suit from the summer decided to “give up” That’s right give up. It turned into an evening gown swim suit. During our time in the water I was battling the suit’s skirt the whole time. Then I stood up and the skirt was as long as an evening gown. Hilarious!
Second the dress was a purchase that I would have never have made because there were no sleeves. See there is a rule in my head that my arms are ugly. Big flabby arms are meant to be hidden. it’s a rule. But this dress was perfectly appropriate for the occasion and for the first time I felt beautiful. How incredible is that? I never knew how positive that energy could be. What a huge step.
Even though I wasn’t where I wanted to be I could feel good and be positive along the way.
I also had glimpses as to where I wanted to be. Well it was more of what I wanted to be able to do when I get to a more healthy size.
See my friends walking along the tide pools? There was no way I had the flexibility to navigate those rocks but there is always next year.
This trip lead to a change in my