Shelli Belly

      The Lion King was just fabulous last night! It was a late night and early morning but well worth every effort. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. During the show I noticed all the wonderful women who were of a variety of shapes. They were confident and beautiful. We’re all so different and extraordinary.

     I calculated perfectly for my Calorie Budget. It was nice to be in control. The seats were in fact very comfortable. I’ve been to theatres where the seats were actually so small that it was painful. This is such an unnecessary thing to be worry about in life. Fortunately, I can change. I am changing. I’m perfectly wonderful now but in a year’s time we’ll see what happens.

HAKUNA MATATA!

          I stuck to my sleep schedule and I felt great today. There was tons of activity just within the course of the workday. I orchestrated a Dodgeball tournament during lunch. Whew. This threw off my lunch plans but I had a back up plan by having simple snacks in the frig. A hardboiled egg and drinkable yogurt is a great lunch on the run. I still had to talk against that voice in my head that kept saying, “Oh but you should just get a quick school lunch,” or “You had a hard day you deserve a quick meal on the way home.” Oh I just scream at that voice. What’s interesting is that the voice was becoming muted until my bump in the road last week. Now I have to starve that voice again and only feed that voice what I choose.
(Enough mind games).

           I head to the theatre tomorrow so I won’t have a post but I have arranged my snacks for the road trip. I’m only nervous about the size of the seats. Oh it’s going to be a tight fit. Maybe I’ll sit in-between my two friends that love me instead of a stranger that in perturbed by me taking up extra area. No worries I’ll live through it. It won’t change the overall impact of the circle of life. Did you figure out which show I’m going to?
Have a great Tuesday.

     Oh how fun to look back on these past few days now with clear eyes. The sugar haze and carb high has lifted. I can see that I reverted back to my old ways of thinking. I slowed down on the intensity of intension. I began to wallow which is my old way of thinking. I began to get lost again in my story of how I got here. I was prime for any emotion or circumstance to come along to get me off course. When I focus on my past I get hooked on all of the “should ofs, would ofs and could ofs,” instead of focusing on the work necessary to achieve my goal. Yes I need to be mindful of my past and how it has shaped me so far but right now I need to solidify my new habits. Sean Anderson of The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser explicitlytold me to keep it simple with just the mantra calories in calories out. I had done that for a while but then I got caught up in my head again. Think! Think! Think! This just brings out the Eeore in me. I got carried away and began searching for the quick fix or the right formula. The theory is that it takes 21 days to form and solidify a new habit. If I act consciously and consistently for 21 days I can establish a new, positive, healthy habit. So for now I’ll need to make sure not to complicate this road. As it becomes a natural course of my life I will then have the strength to slowly revisit my past histroy. When emotions begin to creap in I’ll need to take a moment and not let it derail my ultimate goal, to see what a difference a year makes.

We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
- Aristotle -

         Our best friends in the quest for a healthy life style are diet, exercise, water and sleep. All of those friends already make for a busy schedule. The problem for me is that I don’t know how to get a handle on my schedule. I have the personality type that wants to accomplish everything. I then have huge holes when it comes to taking care of myself. I’m trying to talk myself into putting myself first an adjusting my schedule is the best place to start. I believe that then everything will fall into place or can be handled like a strong tower and not a feather blowing with the wind.
          So in the next week I’m going to try to follow a bedtime schedule. Right now I’m functioning on “nap power.” I stay up late and get up early. I’m exhausted. This leads to stress and a desire to escape into a meal, skip a walk and just work or sit on the couch.   Maybe if I sleep more that will help me to be even more determined. I want this year to be different than any other year. Loretta said a “New History” is being created and so I must be ready for the new normal ahead. It sure doesn’t happen in a day but it will happen when I’m steadily stepping in the right direction. I will seek out the necessary steps to take in order to make myself that much stronger.
           I read an article months ago about sleep that of course I can’t find in order to give the biblio but trust me it was fantastic. It gave the ideal amount of down time a person needs to prep for the best sleep possible.   The author highlighted the correct time to go to bed and the activities to follow in order to get the right amount of sleep. I’m going to try this plan and I’ll report back.

Time to sleep zzzzzz

       Remember those days when you’d eat a McDonald’s Value Meal and maybe top it off with an ice cream? Remember after the meal you’d sit and watch TV in a calorie high? The blood rushing to your engorged stomach as you stare mindlessly off in the distance and think, Hmmm that was good. As you sink deeper and deeper into the chair you’re full but you’re still thinking of your next meal. Then maybe the loathing begins. You ask yourself, “Why did I do that?” You justify to yourself that you’ll begin again but not until Monday. And since its Thursday you go and check the refrigerator for another snack after all it’s been 10 minutes and you’re coming out of the food induced coma. In the past postings this is where I say, “But not today!”

Well it’s TODAY!

          I worked late into the evening and I let my schedule dictate my final choice for the day. (Of course I made the choice and I understand that my schedule is an inanimate object, but it just sounded good). I had made good choices all day long that should have never justified my choice of eating fast food. I was feeling prideful about what I had been doing these past days, that’s right days.  I had been boastful so I had a feeling I was setting myself up for a high calorie intake. I knew the perfect stressful day was coming when my schedule would be out of control and with little sleep I would break away from my calorie budget. I have recognized this certain pattern and I’ll make positive adjustments in order to be successful. I’m not going to beat myself up in fact I will be nice Shelli. (See post Day 5) I will need to get a hold of this schedule because it only intensifies as we approach the end of the year. So for now I will allow myself some grace and jump back into making better decisions so that I’m set up for success.

Setting up for success
1. Sleep
2. Shop for food and don’t run out of my favorites.
3. Lighten up on certain work expectations that I put on myself.
       I’m somewhat of a Perfectionist. I really like to be a step ahead, which adds a lot of pressures.
4. Exercise first and then cleanup my desk.
            Finally, I also want to remember how awful the meal made me feel.   I don’t like the lethargic after glow of a super large meal. It just lingers like a rock in my stomach.

I think this is a good start.
Lessons learned and learned and learned.  It’s what we do.

      I’m getting a little nervous. In two days I weigh in. It’s really my first Wednesday-to-Wednesday weigh in. My Calorie Budget has been right on target but there is always something more that I could do. My mindset has changed significantly but I’m sure those numbers will have a considerable impact on my motivation. In the past certain results have thrown me into a tailspin. My emotional reactions to the scale are pretty predictable when I look at my history. Results have always led me to stopping what I’ve started. So I would just ignore the scale, healthy food and my size all together and resign that I couldn’t loose weight. 

But not this time!

     I’m in new territory now. The scale will log results but I will do everything I can to stay in the game. I will step off the scale and keep on keeping on!  It’s not about numbers this time it’s about a mind body change. It’s about life and I’m going to enjoy it. 
    So isn’t it fitting that this Wednesday is exactly 100 days until the New Year?   To help motivate this community South Beach Steve of Log My Loss  has launched a challenge called, “The Hot 100 – Going Out With a Bang!” contest.  The conest is about setting goals and following through to the end of the year.  It’ll be a great way to set small goals and maybe win a jar of Steve’s AWESOME smoked, sweet & sour, pickled jalapenos.   
         Click on the link to read more about the contest.

     If nothing else it will be a fun way to focus on setting goals and keeping my mind off the scale.