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Day 309 – Keeping it going with the Lord’s help.

07/14/2010

When I was 25 years old I went on the Jenny Craig diet.  I was successful to the point that when one day I was subbing and the co-teacher said that I needed to buy new clothes.  I didn’t have the money for that.  Hmmm guess what?  I started cheating here and there and started to gain.  I then told the counselor that I found this new way to stop eating I’d brush my teeth anytime I had the desire to eat.  Right then I should have known I was done.

I tend to give up at certain points.   I gave up on a diet once again when I was 40 years old.  After a significant loss I stopped when a friend that hadn’t seen me in a long time commented about how good I looked. Then just in October a friend noticed my face thinning.  That caused me to stop my forward momentum once again.      Why would a compliment make me stop pushing forward with good choices?  You’d think it would motivate you to continue with the good choices that actually got you to that point. (Something to think about… Why do the comments here on the blog make me feel so great but I brush off compliments in person)? 

Another time when I give up is when I feel that I have it all figured out and that there is no turning back.  I hear myself report to my friends about all the wonderful things I’m doing in order to conquer this weight issue. A few days pass and once again I settle back into my old patterns.  I get boastful about what I have accomplished and then the fall.  Proverbs 16:18 really comes into full focus here:

First pride, then the crash—
   the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.
(The Message)

So recognizing where I am right now is so very important.  I have made some great choices right now but, that does not give me the right to go have a binge.  I  always have these little debates in my mind.  I hear, “You deserve it you worked so hard today.”  “Just one meal won’t be so bad.”  This is the battle I face.  I’m going to trust in the Lord that he will help me.  I have said in the past that I adore the image of a prideful Father acknowledging the good choices of His daughter. I can see the Father saying “Look there goes my daughter.” I will be trusting that as I make these decisions the old voice will become even more distant.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Look what I’ve done.

So what’s different this time?  I’m dealing with choices for today only. I have a plan for the day and at this point I can’t stray to far from it.  I will not justify my poor decisions with immature excuses.   I will learn to take a compliment for a job well done.  My New Years motto is still very relevant and once again comes into play, “People don’t believe what you say. They believe what you do.” Finding the balance in each of these areas will allow me to keep it going.   Finally, I have been a witness to His peace when I know that He is proud of His daughter and I will find joy there.

He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good:
and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.(Proverbs 16:20)

Time to get busy!! 

4 comments

  1. Shelli, I can totally relate to what you have written here, as I have lived it myself. Like you, this time is different.

    It looks like you have been having a good time in Hawaii. I am sure you are thankful for the opportunity.


  2. Shelli, If you read my last post through to the end where I attached a an excerpt from the post before, you’ll see I understand EXACTLY what you have just written here.

    If you get it figured out before I do, please let me know. I just do not understand my tendency to shoot myself in the foot the minute I see success.

    And just a few posts back, I wrote about the things that have fallen into place for me on this journey–how much easier the whole diet thing had become. Famous last words.

    The Scripture that has been coming to my mind since my crash and burn last week has been the one that goes something like, “Be careful when you think you stand, lest you fall.”

    Sigh.

    One day at a time–leaning on God… Me, too, girlfriend, me too.

    Deb


  3. It sounds like you are having time for some deep thinking and insights there in Hawaii, Shelli. I can especially relate to the thinking that tries to tell you that you have done so well, so now you can “take a break”, or that you “deserve” to eat. Uh huh!

    I had to redefine my belief and definition of what constitutes a reward!
    I had an unhealthy connection between food and “reward”… between “treats” and food. I’m not sure I am totally there yet, but feel I am getting closer. At least when my mind crawls in that direction, it’s clear and obvious to me now that loving and rewarding myself must be healthy, and eating too much is not healthy so it’s not loving and rewarding myself.

    It’s still mostly head knowledge, but feels close to being heart knowledge… if that makes sense.

    I love that you have the image of the Father being proud of His daughter… it’s similar to one I have. And yes, it’s precious.

    Loretta
    =^..^=


  4. SHelli, I’m so with you! And more than that, I love this post. And wait, “Once again when I was 40…” What?! You’re over 40?? Could. Not. Tell!



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